World: Former President Commits Suicide

President Roh

Auntie Beeb tells us that South Korea's former president, Roh Moo-hyun, has committed suicide over recent allegations that his family took $6 million in bribes.

That President Roh was loved by his countrymen was evinced by the numbers of people lining the road down which his body was transported to his hometown for the funeral. People also gathered at the capital to light incense and place flowers before his picture. Roh apparently never personally took money from anyone. However, his wife accepted $1 million from a wealthy magnate who has since been convicted on separate charges of bribery and tax evasion. Roh has stated that he believed the money was to help his wife settle a debt, and did not involve him. Another relative took $5 million from the same magnate, but Roh thought it was in the nature of a business investment rather than a bribe, apparently.

Roh did accept responsibility for these actions, according to the report:

The former president later apologised for the scandal.

"I feel ashamed before my fellow citizens. I am sorry for disappointing you," he said in a televised statement on 30 April.

My, oh my. Wouldn't it be nice if we could hear that lying sack o'shit Dick "dickless" Cheney hike his fat ass before a microphone and say something similar? OK, he has no sense of shame whatsoever, but couldn't he get one transplanted or something?

Roh left a note, a rather sad, impressive note, for his family. This excerpt touched me, so I reproduce it:

Don't be too sad. Isn't life and death all part of nature? Don't be sorry. Don't blame anybody. It's fate. Please cremate me. And please leave a small tombstone near home. I've long thought about that.

Dick Cheney, Gee Dumb-diddy, why can't y'all be more like President Roh? Believe me, your fellow-citizens would be grateful.

Don't y'all think seppuku (the Japanese ritual disembowelment also known as hara-kiri) was invented for just such a reason? So that those who wrecked such devastating harm on their fellow-citizens and their nation could, to a small extent, at least, make up for their sins?

Akashi Gidayu writing his death poem before committing seppuku

Of course, the asshole Cheney would first have to disgorge the millions he made in war profits, but hey.

Note: I'm well aware that Korea and Japan are two separate nations with entirely different histories, customs, and culture. I just happen to find seppuku an irresistible concept when coupled with Cheney.

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