Politics: Your Happy News For Teh Day

Kit Bond — Barely 70 and already looking like a corpse


Boom! Boom! Boom!

Another one bites the dust!

Yeah, it should make you happy. If it don't, there's something wrong witchu.

Missouri Senator Kit Bond announced yesterday that he's not planning to run for reelection. He was singing quite the different tune last year, so his rage of Hunchmen (and Hunchwomen, thanks Frank Zappa!) have been caught sorta kinda flatfooted by the whole thing.

Bond spokeswoman Shana Marchio said she had been "preparing for him to run. We were going full-throttle."

Bwahahahahahaha!

Why, you might ask, am I waxing so lively at this news? Because it would appear that as each day dawns we are moving closer to the goal of a filibuster-proof Senate so that our President, Barack Obama, can implement the goals that will save our jobs, our lives, our homes, and our dignity both at home and abroad:

Bond's decision will force the GOP to launch an expensive and competitive campaign next year to hold onto the Missouri Senate seat, as well as the seat in Florida being vacated by Republican Mel Martinez, who is retiring. Senate Democrats, who need 60 votes to stop Republican filibusters, hold 58 seats and could have 59 if Minnesota upholds Al Franken's recount victory.

And nothing delights me more than knowing that the sleazeball Norm Coleman will soon be gone, the sleazeball Mel Martinez (who passed around the Terri Schiavo memo in Congress) is retiring, and now Senator Kit Bond, the man responsible for passing the Defense Authorization Act which basically killed Posse Comitatus dead, is about to be Gone, Baby, Gone.

How can y'all not erupt in whoops of joy and spontaneous knicker-showing can-can dances on the streets, dayum!

From ICHC, your Premium source of LOLcattery

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